How do I get one?

The more I read about Golden Parachutes, the more I want to go get fired from somewhere. I wonder how you become part of the class of people , apparently including university presidents, who get fabulously rich just by fucking up. I bring up this particular case because I am not the only RUFNKM contributor with a stake in the fortunes of AU. We can, of course, include Brownie in this class along with countless CEO's who have run their stock prices in the toilet. The last time I got fired, they just stopped putting me on the schedule. Next time I'm gonna get what's comin' to me.