The Needle-Scratching-Across-The-Record Heard Round The World

President Bush told the Washington Times yesterday he doesn't "see how you can be president without a relationship with the Lord."

"I fully understand that the job of the president is and must always be protecting the great right of people to worship or not worship as they see fit," Bush said.

"That's what distinguishes us from the Taliban. The greatest freedom we have or one of the greatest freedoms is the right to worship the way you see fit.

"On the other hand, I don't see how you can be president at least from my perspective, how you can be president, without a relationship with the Lord."
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RUGDMFKM?!!!

So, alright, we're not the Taliban. Let's take a minute, reach around, [pat pat pat], congratulations, we're not the Taliban. If we keep trying hard, perhaps tomorrow we won't be Saudi Arabia or Iran.

The Enlightenment, if it wasn't already, is officially effin' over.

"I don't see how you can be president at least from my perspective, how you can be president, without a relationship with the Lord." Okay. And? And? That statement is just floating around out there among the other 11,000 pieces of orbital debris, connected to nothing, no b for its a, no words, not even a sound, just a non sequitur, "can't be president IF don't know Lord" huff huff scratch spit screech throw feces. I'd be upset if some stale-beer-smelling turd at the bus station said that to me, but The President of the United States?!? Effin' come on!

Now, let's consider the ideas upon which this country was founded. Why were 17th and 18th century philosophers so enamored of reason, of observation, of knowledge? Because they fought for it, and they got it. Knowledge used to come from the Church. The Church had authority over knowledge. Then we got it. We got it! It's ours! We reason and observe, and we improve. Take that, Church--you can keep your rituals, but no one is going to look to you for knowledge anymore. Protestantism split the Church, peasants moved to town and changed the society and economy, and the philosophers lit the fuse of Enlightenment. Things changed!

All of this doesn't mean, although Bush would probably accuse us of this fallacy, that everyone who abandons the church as a source of authoritative knowledge becomes an agnostic or an atheist. No, that's what's great about it! You can have faith and still be guided by reason. You can have a personal relationship with God and still be critical. (Your mileage may vary.)

What's great about America is that we took the ideas of these French and British philosophers and put our money where our mouth was. To the New World! Huzzah! Religious freedom for all! No state church. We kept, for the most part, religion out of politics.

But Bush isn't one of these people who can have a relationship with God and be critical. No, he and God have a nasty, codependent relationship. Bush can't do a thing without asking God what he should do. Bush dropped the bottle and picked up the chalice. Can't do a thing for himself. What's he afraid of?

We in the Reality-Based World always worried that this is what he was thinking. Now we know. Scary stuff. Scary, scary stuff. Bush is lucky the Reality-Based World doesn't believe in pre-emptive strikes.