Friday, March 17, 2006

Happy St. Patty's Day!

Well, that greatest of holidays is upon us again, St. Patrick's Day! Let us not forget the true meaning of St. Patty's day, however. Let us reflect upon St. Patrick driving the snakes out of Ireland, then, he knocked over to the pub, drank a river of whiskey and pissed Guinness. In so doing, he absolved alcoholics of shame for one glorious day each year.

Yes that's right folks and that day is today. St. Patty's day, a day when green beer is a good thing and not a sign to clean the taps. It's a day when midgets can convince regular folk they've got magical powers simply by wearing green. It's a day when you can eat corned beef in honor of a Catholic Saint on a Friday during Lent. It's a day to puke with co-workers and drool down the cleavage of fat girls in bars every where. It's a day of holiness, a day that will be remembered longer in your liver than in your brain.

So drink up, Drunk-Os, and hoist a pint for me the only Irishmen under the Sea

And Now a Limerick

There once was a feller from Hampden
Who's liver smelled worse than a peat fen.
He awoke with a fright
For during the night
He'd buggered fourteen angry mermen.


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