Thursday, November 03, 2005

Mike Brown Thwarts Fashion Disaster

Self proclaimed "Fashion God" and part-time former FEMA Chief Mike Brown has come under fire for his handling of events in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Now, with thousands of e-mails from government officials during the aftermath of the storm made available, many will choose to focus on the failures.

Most in the Liberal Media will surely latch on to quotes like; "Can I quit now? Can I come home?" claiming that such quotes smack of a man not cut out for this leadership roll. They will point out pleas from hard working FEMA employees like Marty Bahamonde who wrote, "I know that you know the situation is past critical.... Hotels are kicking people out, thousands gathering in the streets with no food or water. Hundreds still being rescued from homes.... Estimates are many will die within hours...We are running out of food and water at the dome."

Man of action Brown quickly responded, "Thanks for the update. Anything specific I need to do or tweak?"

Some might point out that a man who makes $148,000 a year and commands the resources of the United States Government yet has trouble finding a dog sitter may not be the guy you want running the nations disaster response agency. They might imply that one who fails to be able to manage his doggie walking resources may be a bit over his head when orchestrating rescue teams, the Coast Guard and the National Guard.

Surely some one will point to another e-mail that when faced with an alarming medical crisis, Brown was told, "Mickey and the other medical equipment people have a 42 foot trailer full of beds, wheelchairs, oxygen concentrators, etc. They are wanting to take them where they can be used but need direction. Mickey specializes in ventilator patients so can be very helpful with acute care patients. If you could have someone contact him and let him know if he can be of service, he would appreciate it. Know you are busy but they really want to help."

They will fail to note that Brownie forwarded that e-mail with a note reading "Can we use these people?" and he did that after only 4 short days! Keep in mind, that original e-mail came on Friday afternoon. We all know what those Friday afternoon e-mails are like. PAIN!!! Cut the guys some slack! He got back to it just before lunch on Tuesday people! OK, even I may have to admit Brownie may have dropped the ball on this one. Those guys with the trucks would TOTOALY have been perfect for watching his dog.

Some will commiserate with Carol Springman who wrote Brown and said, "I don't know who is ultimately running this government nightmare show but please get your acts together NOW!" She went on to criticize the woeful treatment that pets were receiving in the affected areas. Well, if there is one thing Mike Brown, horse lover, understands it's the plight of animals. This one he forwarded to his underlings right away "I want us to start planning for dealing with pets."

This, my friends, is a man of action! This is a man who rolls up his sleeves and gets things done, well, after being advised so in an email entitled, "Your Shirt." "Please roll up the sleeves of your shirt...all shirts. Even the president rolled his sleeves to just below the elbow," wrote FEMA press secretary Sharon Worthy. "In this crisis and on TV you need to look more hard working...ROLL UP THE SLEEVES!"

People will point to the guy who hired Mike Brown, who was that again? Oh yeah, President Bush and wonder why on Earth he would say, "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job."

Well, they fail to point out that this was a man who was dealing with a major crisis. I mean Howard Pike had just informed him that ABC news was sniffing around a rumor that Brown had been forced out his position with the Arabian Horse Association. He had to console his press secretary who was existing under horrid conditions forced to eat nothing but fast food for 3 straight day until she could get to a REAL restaurant! He actually took time to send a hand, suggesting an order at the Whataburger, "Order a #2, tater tots, large diet cherry limeade." Not to mention this whole storm thing and yet he continued to do what mattered. He looked good on camera.

When others would have been to busy with directing shipments of M.R.E.s, medical teams and evacuations, Mike Brown was proactive! He had time to ask Worthy, "Tie or not for tonight? Button-down blue shirt?" When some would have been so exhausted from the long days and nights toiling to save thousands of lives they would have thought only of sleep before getting back to the job, Brownie had time to field e-mails about his wardrobe, "You look fabulous," and Brown replied, "I got it at Nordstrom’s. Email McBride and make sure she knows! Are you proud of me?" adding later, "I am a fashion god."

Ahh Brownie! You truly are doing a hell of a job (and still getting paid for it). I wonder, when the president received an e-mail telling him he needed to appoint a new FEMA director if he simply replied, "Go with a #2."


S.O.L.