Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Jesus Must Have Grabbed My Pogo Stick

Cause I was looking for my pogo stick to hop off a bridge and it's gone. After reading this, I'm betting Christ is using it.

For those of you too timid to check links, Republican CongressWoman and Fourth Horse-Person of the Apocalypse Katherine Harris had some important duties when she was Florida's Secretary of State. When she wasn't busy rigging elections, she had natural disasters to fight, and what's a better match for a natural disaster than a super-natural solution! Well, there are probably several, but Katherine is a busy horsewoman.

In 2001 there was a terrible citrus canker threatening Florida's multi-billion dollar O.J. empire. Some would consult botanists or, umm, citrus canker, umm, guys. Not Our Gal Katherine! She ordered a state sponsored study to test the "celestial drops" promoted by a Kabbalah Rabbi and a cardiologist (Glad to see he's working in his field. Remind me not to have a heart attack in Florida.). They actually did a study to study the effects of holy water on plant diseases.

Wow. Some might heed the words of the head of Florida's Bureau of Entomology, Nematology, and Plant Pathology, Wayne Dixon, when he said the, "product is a hoax and not based on any credible known science." Katherine Harris, however, was not about to let some "scientist" use "logic" and "proven technologies" when a system endorsed by Madonna is available!

I'm the first to admit if Kabbalah (and a team of high priced surgeons) can keep Madonna looking that good well into her forties, I'm sure some lil' ol' citrus canker is nothing! I'm also the first to admit, I cross myself with holy water, I pray each night before I go to bed and I throw salt over my shoulder after a spill. What I don't do is commission a study to find out how many accidents I didn't get into after not crossing under a ladder.

On the flip side, it's nice to know the Nation isn't being run exclusively by a bunch of fanatical right-wing crazy Christian nuts. There are also some fanatical right-wing crazy Jews in the mix. America truly is a melting pot.


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