Wednesday, December 15, 2004

An Effin' Comedy

This article is among many recently describing war crimes trials that Iraq claims it will be holding very soon. In fact, the article claims the first trial could happen as early as next week. On hearing this news over the last day, we could barely restrain our sense of some elation. Justice is coming soon to Iraq, and right will be done, starting next week! "Could this be a little ray of sunshine in the ongoing morass?" we asked ourselves. Well, that mean spirited beast called Reality - with it's breath smelling of Bombay Saphire and cheap cigars - got right in our faces and shouted "ARE YOU EFFIN' KIDDING ME?"

On NPR this morning we heard analysis from one Mike Shcarf, a legal expert who trained Iraqi judges for this very event. He caused the host of Morning Edition to burst out laughing. Why? Well, Mr. Shcarf said that Iraq has no intention of doing any such thing, and they won't be ready till this time next year. He claims he just confirmed this fact with the group inside the Justice Department that's in charge of this sort of thing.

So, as Joe Strummer once asked, "Wadda we got?" Well, we got a major news story that's totally fake, and it's clear it's fake, but despite that, Shrubya will probably mention it as fact in a speech today (if he hasn't already). Now some might claim this is just yet another example of the Orwellian Hell we live in, but I ain't one of'em. I say we're living through a different sort of hell. We're all Mrs. Gloria Teasdale to Rumsfeld's Groucho("That's a good question! Are there any other questions?"), Shrubya's Chico(you can ask "what the hell accent is that supposed to be anyway?" to both of them), Powell's Harpo(oddly silent, and even more oddly complian with Chico's wishes no matter how much trouble it causes him) in a terrifying modern version of Duck Soup. Quite frankly I've been a bit tired of being the stiff, and I'm afraid we're going to end up with far worse than pie all over us at the end of this picture.

Holy Lame-O Correction Dept:I should be shot, Zeppo should have been Chico, and I made the mistake due to beer. That's my excuse, I'm sticking to it.
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