Tuesday, June 27, 2006

What's The Matter With Rush's...?

Yeah yeah you already heard it. But hear me out. See, I got a different angle on the whole thang and you, my friend, will burst out laughing.

So a buddy of mine asked me, "Why the hell is congress wasting my money on the flag burning amendment?" When I answered, "For the same reason they wasted your money on the gay marriage ammendment," he looked a little puzzled. I thought for a second and said, "Think of the religious right as a small but very important organ in the Republican party. Now, if you think of Rush Limbaugh as the embodiment of the Republican party, and you think of the time between now and the November elections as a trip to the Dominican Republic, you get the idea." Ba.Dump.Bump.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

In The Interests Of Blogger Transparency

Benn Ray told me to write the post you are currently reading. He also told me to link to this. In fact, any opinion expressed on this blog is vetted by the Shank before it's posted. And Benn also pays me lots of money to post things he'll agree with.

Hah. IAFNKY. It was really eebmore. He just doesn't want anyone to know he's the one pulling the strings since he dropped out of the big blog conspiracy due to his clinical depression (which we all know is cover for the fact that he lets cats pee on his head).

No, wait. I'm making that up too.

Ok, now for the real truth: It's all Fixer's fault. Or maybe Gordon's. Altough it might have been that effin' penguin.

Ok, seriously now. When I got the memo I deleted it from my email because I thought it was spam. Note to whoever is pulling our strings: Don't title your memos "REDUCE YOUR MORTAGE AND INCREASE YOUR POTENCY AT THE SAME TIME (HOT TEENS ON WEBCAMS)!!!!". I delete those (and I certainly don't forward them to any of our contributors). You might try "Smash The State and Make Money Blogging!!!!" or something like that.

PS I apologize for the Jesus and Mary Chain video. It seemed like a good idea at the time but on second viewing it probably says more about how I'm a sad sack burnout 80's indie-rocker and less about important things like, oh, I dunno...I'm sure you can think of something.

Nota Bummer: I edited and reposted this twice before you read it.

Update: The truly interesting thing about this is how Brooks, in what can only be described as a fit of "show you up, punk!", demonstrates to Kos how a real propoganda machine is run. Being a not-so-minor functionary in a certain media machine, Brooks of all people should know better than to take potshots at people engaging in movement-directed polemics. To adopt Mr. Brooks' biblical tone: And it was said unto Brooks, "Here sitteth a pot. And you are like it." And Brooks agreed it was so. And lo was placed a kettle beside it, and it was said unto Brooks, "You are also like this kettle." And Brooks did protesteth, "This kettle! It is not like me, for it is ugly and has the color of coal!" And lo the many did note that both the pot and the kettle were of the same hue, more or less, and the many did indeed wonder why Brooks denied his semblance to both the kettle and the pot. And lo did the kettle say unto Brooks, "Who you callin' ugly? Takes one to know one, jerk."

Friday, June 23, 2006

Rock 'N' Roll Is Killin' My Hair


Thursday, June 22, 2006

Summer Is Ready When You Are

Last night Dave G. and I were talking again about how our patron saint is none other than St. Jude Thadeus. Via Bmore Crime we have it proved to us yet again. In the hopes that we can outsmart our anti-Midas touch, we now endorse both Ehrlich and Steele (and follow that with the suggestion that you buy Microsoft stock).

We also posit that Doug's "clinical depression" may have its roots in a certain party machine.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Too Effin' Much

ARE YOU EFFIN' KIDDING ME? I'm sure someone Malkinesque will say that the fact that the guy committed suicide is somehow proof he was actually a terrorist!

Update: I guess I just should have waited for Gibblets.

Monday, June 12, 2006

PNAC Cuts and Runs

Via War and Piece we learn the PNAC, deeming its goals accomplished, is likely closing up shop. This assesment could only come from the center of all things neo-con. They've managed to destroy for a generation the credibility of the type of foreign policy they'd like to see. While this is an accomplishment, I don't think it's the intended one.


Now It's Time For Sober And Serious

Larry Johnson wonders if Gen. Barry McCaffrey is effin' kidding him. Larry quotes:

Speaking on NBC's "Meet the Press," retired Gen. Barry McCaffrey said Guantanamo has become a political problem for the United States.

"I don't know how we get out of this," said McCaffrey. "Some of these people are extremely dangerous. This was an act of political warfare by the three people that committed suicide, the same as a suicide bomber in downtown Baghdad."

He also notes that we act more like the USSR than we do the USA. I might add that it's the supposed Heirs of Goldwater who've taken us there. Anyone suprised? Didn't think so.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Rock 'n' Roll Is Killin' My Life

It's just like a knife...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

About That Good News From Iraq

Yes, it's absolutely fantastic that we've scored both a major symbolic and moral victory by killing Zarqawi (please note that any dripping sarcasm you may infer is yours and yours alone - I mean this in all sincerity). However, amidst all the think pieces and so on about "who he was" and "what does it all mean" let's not forget that we could have prevented four years of his activity.
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Wednesday, June 07, 2006


Well, despite the release of a new Ann Coulter book, the world seems to have survived the day of the beast.

To celebrate, we offer some live Maiden.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

What's That Sound Inhofe Is Making?

Why, it's today's new version of the "my bloodline is pure!" This statement put me in mind of something that I just couldn't put my finger on...oh wait, I know exactly who it reminds me of: Franjo Tudjman, who said, "Thank God my wife is neither a Serb nor a Jew." Forgive me for thinking all these people - the ones who want to make the supposed "purity" of their genetic makeup a political issue and a point of pride - all sound the same.

Update:Changed initial link from being to Atrios to Think Progress since they have the video. Also changed a phrase to hopefully be more incisive.

Totally True

Missouri's Sodomy Law was totally gay.

One "Heh" and one "Indeed"

Work is picking up again, so you won't get much original material from me for a bit. Instead, I offer the following links:

  • Demolition of a bootstrap myth? Heh.

  • I'm stuck on the flypaper and can't get out! Indeed.

Update: Also two items of Hitchbashing note, here and here. I have but one question: What's a contrarian to do when all of his moves are so predictable that even I could have written the column a day before it came out?

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Why This Blog Has The Name It Does

Every time I conclude that things are too effin' silly to be topped, someone goes and proves me wrong.

Friday, June 02, 2006

'T'were a war that rent ye ol' Blog Asunder!!!

That jolly buccaneer PZ be pointin' us to the Dread Pirate Linday's Jolly Roger Manifesto to which I be affixin' me name! Yet I fears this may be causin' dissension in the ranks o' the mighty ship RUFNKM! For t'ain't it true that scurvy rat Super Ocean Lad be a traitor to the seas? Yea I say! For he's not merely a Ninjapologist, but is said to be raisin' an army of Ninjas! I did see it meself! Pick yer side Scurvy Ocean Lad! Be ye fer the sea or fer the pajamas? I'll be a'waitin'...