Saturday, June 24, 2006

In The Interests Of Blogger Transparency

Benn Ray told me to write the post you are currently reading. He also told me to link to this. In fact, any opinion expressed on this blog is vetted by the Shank before it's posted. And Benn also pays me lots of money to post things he'll agree with.

Hah. IAFNKY. It was really eebmore. He just doesn't want anyone to know he's the one pulling the strings since he dropped out of the big blog conspiracy due to his clinical depression (which we all know is cover for the fact that he lets cats pee on his head).

No, wait. I'm making that up too.

Ok, now for the real truth: It's all Fixer's fault. Or maybe Gordon's. Altough it might have been that effin' penguin.

Ok, seriously now. When I got the memo I deleted it from my email because I thought it was spam. Note to whoever is pulling our strings: Don't title your memos "REDUCE YOUR MORTAGE AND INCREASE YOUR POTENCY AT THE SAME TIME (HOT TEENS ON WEBCAMS)!!!!". I delete those (and I certainly don't forward them to any of our contributors). You might try "Smash The State and Make Money Blogging!!!!" or something like that.

PS I apologize for the Jesus and Mary Chain video. It seemed like a good idea at the time but on second viewing it probably says more about how I'm a sad sack burnout 80's indie-rocker and less about important things like, oh, I dunno...I'm sure you can think of something.

Nota Bummer: I edited and reposted this twice before you read it.

Update: The truly interesting thing about this is how Brooks, in what can only be described as a fit of "show you up, punk!", demonstrates to Kos how a real propoganda machine is run. Being a not-so-minor functionary in a certain media machine, Brooks of all people should know better than to take potshots at people engaging in movement-directed polemics. To adopt Mr. Brooks' biblical tone: And it was said unto Brooks, "Here sitteth a pot. And you are like it." And Brooks agreed it was so. And lo was placed a kettle beside it, and it was said unto Brooks, "You are also like this kettle." And Brooks did protesteth, "This kettle! It is not like me, for it is ugly and has the color of coal!" And lo the many did note that both the pot and the kettle were of the same hue, more or less, and the many did indeed wonder why Brooks denied his semblance to both the kettle and the pot. And lo did the kettle say unto Brooks, "Who you callin' ugly? Takes one to know one, jerk."