Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Healthcare MY ASS!

The Government should stay out of personal decisions like health care and stick to telling us who we can marry. For a long time, I made the decision to be too poor to afford health care. Man it felt good to not have The Government getting involved in that decision. I want the freedom to break a leg and set the fracture with bailing wire and part of my Rock’em Sock’em Robot set.

First we let The Government run national defense and look where that’s gotten us? We’ve lost eleven world wars and been overrun by the French, Portuguese and Dutchmen. Now the Canadians are right at our border and I saw a Mexican in the parking lot with some sort of whirring blade weapon destroying American weeds.

Good job, U.S. Government.

Next we let them handle public utilities and there is not a single road, the trash has never been picked up and I have to travel over 1500 miles to get a cup of water. The Government can't do anything as well as all of those benevolent multinational corporations who run our banks, our car companies, and our ponzi schemes.

Just the other day I was waiting in line for my new phone at the Verizon Store and thinking, there is no way The Government could pull off this kind of efficiancy. Have you ever picked a health plan from your job? Man, if The Government was involved, it would be so complicated. I don’t want some heartless Government running my healthcare. I want a company that is going to be responsive to my needs, that doesn’t look to cut corners, that won’t interfere with my schedule and will do whatever they can to be there for me, like Delta Airlines for instance.

Most of Western Europe let their governments get involved in health care and look what happened? They are all now dead. Have you ever met a Luxembourger, Lichtensteinian or German? I rest my case.

Do you know what “Dr.” “President” Obama’s favorite movie is? Logan’s Run. Just sayin.

When Orly Taitz and I used her Way Back Machine to visit Obama’s manger in the back yard of Bin Laden’s Kenyan estate, I heard his first words, “When I grow up to be president, I am going to provide national health care as a means to destroy the fabric of our society and cause grand scale live action reenactments of my favorite movies Logan’s Run, Soylint Green, Desperately Seeking Susan and The Rescuers Downunder (he WAS only 45 minutes old). Then I am going to harvest stem cells for school lunch marmalade. Viva La Islam, Comrades!” Next he wrote the first e-mail asking you to send him your bank information and another with a picture of a kitten praying and said if you didn’t forward it to 100 of your closest friends, confused coworkers and distant cousins, he would legalize gay marriage.

Have you read this damned plan? Line 4373? We all have to share ONE TOUNGUE DEPRESSER! Think about THAT when you are filthy 44 millionth to say “ah.”
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