Tuesday, February 21, 2006

From The Bottom of the Marianas Trench I Give You: AQUAPUNDITRY!

From the observation bubble of my winter cottage here at the bottom of the Challenger Deep I am afforded time to think. You see, at these depths a lump of coal would be turned to diamond in a matter of mere millenia, in addition to keeping the pesky paparazzi at bay, this pressure serves to clear my head, squeezing out Mr. Bad Thoughts and making way for Madame Minds All Clear!

At these times, I like to focus on the sad plight of you gasping surface worlders. I am especially enamoured of your TV ads for lotion. As I bask on my clam-shell throne I am delighted by my luxuriously supple flanks. Moisture is a gift the sea provides in spades! No need to find it in a plasticene bottle, but I digress.

I have been most entertained and terrified by your debates over this "Inteligent Design." For the record, Aquapundit! (AKA SuperOceanLad) thinks it's crap. I know, I know, with the rippling musculature of my bronze skinned torso leading elegantly into my powerful be-scaled tail flukes and my ability to simultaneously please a human woman and a chilean sea bass with my "magic trident," you'd think I'd be the poster child for inteligent design. I, bible thumpers, am not.

Anyhoo, check this out. Aquapundit! says indeed, right on and preach it mutha 'effer! My favorite quote is from George Coyne, director of the Vatican Observatory who said, "The intelligent design movement belittles religion. It makes God a designer - an engineer," and this, people, is from the freakin' Vatican! It took them several hundred years of sailing all the way around the world and not falling off to admit this rock was round. Hop on board!

Aquapundit! says read it all you lazy lubbers!

S.O.L.
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