Friday, June 10, 2005

Peggy Has Her Fantasy, I Have Mine

Enough alread. It's time we just get this over with.


Peggy,

Hey honey, it's Ron. I've got Paul Wellstone and Terry Schiavo with me. The Big Man asked us to have a talk with you, and when we sat down and jawed about who should deliver the message, darn it if Paul and Terry didn't ask me to do it. See, Paul is still a little tee'd at you for distorting the message he gave you, and we all know no matter how many crocodile tears you cried for Terry you wouldn't really give her the time of day never mind letting her into your head. Well, considering all that, they both figured you'd listen to me best.

Peg, the Big Man sees it all. All of it. Not just what the simpy pinko hate America firsters are doing, but our side too. I don't know if I can explain how it feels to meet him and have him know, and have to account for all of it, but it's tough, darn tough. And when he gets you on bearing false witness, like he did me on fighting in WWII, well, it doesn't feel too good.

You don't get what I'm trying to say? Well, let me put it this way. I didn't build this party on being nice, and you should stop pretending we ever did. If you're going to bear false witness, kiddo, you've at least gotta bear one that isn't so obviously false. The Big Man doesn't like it, and neither do I. What I'm trying to say, honey, is that you need to get a grip. You wrote me some good speeches, but you're making us, and me especially, out to be a bunch of wussy rich kid whiners. That's something me and Barry spent 30 years trying to get rid of.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I can't tell you anything else; the Big Man's plans are his and his alone to know. Though I don't think I'll be giving too much away if I say "I'll be seeing you."

--The Gipper

PS. Tell Ron Jr. I loved that line about me crapping bigger ones than GW. I never did like the Bush kids.
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