G.T.H., Ratz

So the native Brazilians were "silently longing" to be converted to Christianity, sez Pope Maledict. That's right...they were asking for it.

I guess it's been a while since he picked up Bartolome de las Casas's Short Account of the Destruction of the West Indies.

R.I.H., Jerry Falwell

I really believe that the Pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America...I point my finger in their face and say, "You could have helped this happen sooner."

Inside of one human being, piety leaves no room for narcissism, and vice versa. Falwell will always be remembered for transcending that equation, making ample room for both.

Maybe that's why he was so fat.