Thursday, January 05, 2006

He's Done It Again!

George Bush is a miracle worker! He and his policies continue to turn the seemingly impossible into the soul crushingly real. George and his posse have managed to create gas lines in Iraq. What's next? Perhaps cheese rationing in Wisconsin? Maybe an Idaho potato famine or an embargo on corruption in the G.O.P. ?

Seriously, we're talking about an oil shortage in Iraq! They're sitting on the second largest deposit in the world. Kids sinking battleships strike oil there. Saddam Hussein couldn't get his people shoes, but, when he wasn't busy gold plating kalashnikovs and decorating his palaces with art a seventies van muralist would be embarrassed by, he made sure everybody had gas! People still don't have shoes, which doubly sucks because now they can't drive. Man, even Mussolini could work this out.

Gas prices were increased five to seven fold in a move that caused Iraqi Oil Minister Bahr Al-Ulourn to resign saying, "This decision brings an extra burden on the shoulders of citizens and caused an increase in the prices of all essential materials." That means anything that needs to be transported will be costing more. It means local businesses, bakeries, for instance, which often run on gas powered generators, will be quintupling the prices of their products. If you think people get angry when they can't afford gas, wait until they can't afford to eat.

You know, I've said it before and I'll say it again, George Bush is a miracle worker. Unfortunately his miracles ain't of the rainbows and unicorn variety. More often it's frogs and locusts. Oh, but at least if you've got the money for other options the recruiter will skip your house and send your neighbors kids to the Middle East.


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